How To Have A Happy Marriage
The rising divorce rates might make marriage look less than promising, but there’s no need to get cynical yet. There are still plenty of couples out there enjoying fulfilling, loving marriages well into middle age and beyond. If you’re newly wed or just hoping to improve the state of your relationship, follow these simple tips to bring more positivity into your marriage.
- Keep the focus on yourself. That may seem like odd advice when talking about a relationship. Many people enter into a relationship or marriage with big ideas about what their partner should be like. Perceived flaws are sometimes seen as areas that should be focused on and changed as soon as possible. In reality, changing another person isn’t a realistic aim; the only person you can truly change is yourself. If you feel unsettled or unhappy, try looking inward before turning the blame on your partner. There may be a personal issue that you need to work on before you can be truly happy in any relationship.
- Don’t nit-pick. A common mistake that many couples fall into is nit-picking and focusing on irritating habits, often the sort of minor habits that someone outside of the household would never notice. Try not to get drawn into this behavior, it can quickly lead to bickering and resentments. Keep your focus on the bigger picture and don’t make mountains out of molehills.
- Let go of the past. When an argument comes up, many couples get drawn into blame games and a tendency to drag up mistakes that their partner has made in the past. Holding grudges can have a toxic effect on your marriage. If something is really bothering you, consider meeting with a couples counsellor to talk the uncomfortable memory through with an objective third party.
- Break the routine. It’s easy to get caught up in a comfortable, predictable routine when you’ve been together for some time. If things are starting to feel a little stale and dull then make an effort to break your usual patterns. Surprise your partner with a treat after work, go out for a date night to a completely new restaurant or take a vacation to a place that neither of you have ever seen.
- Let go of the last word. Big fights can sometimes get even bigger when both parties refuse to let go and walk away from the dispute. Somebody has to be the bigger person, so try to take a breath and disengage from a fight that you know will only damage your relationship. You’ll probably find that walking away and taking some space will diffuse the situation and give you both a chance to come back to reality.
- Take care of other relationships. Your marriage may be your most significant relationship, but friendships and connections with other family members are still important. Too much time together can make a couple go stir-crazy, so make sure that you both have other relationships you can turn to when you need some space. Absence does make the heart grow fonder, after all.